Saturday, December 31, 2016


Every year when its comes to end of the year. I will said times fly so fast. This year was different. But I still just a small girl who been called kila, shabeera, shebie, shabeb & others nickname what i trying to say that, i was happy for what happen to me this year. I felt blessed with what I have. I have family whose never stop make me laugh so hard. Well, sometimes problem hit, its okay! I know they loved me as much as i granted my life for them nobody in this world doesnt have problem, everyone have one, two or more that that. Like me, where to eat at this evening also a problem Now, i am in third year degree, senior in rotu, devil sister, faithful member, stranger. what i want to do in this year, i already do. I can said that my wishes for 2016 is accomplished! Yeahh 🙌🙌🙌 One of the biggest dream is----------------------- I want to be selected as one of the student for exchange student outbound. Checked☑ Frankly said, i love the memories there & hope in future, being a traveler again soon, perhaps in 2017. what`s next country? Hehehe. Every step while traveling, places, persons i met, things i saw,  different view, different lifestyle, the money that i invest for, raining or sunny day, awake or sleepy, scared or confidence. I am typically a person who have many question in mind. so many. Those things answer my weird question. I can said I am so obsessed with traveling.This new hobby so expensive yet more precious. I need to make a hard saving so, every year i can fly over the world. 

When I am getting older, i always lost my words to say. i pretend everyone can understand what i am talking about. what happen, i just keep itself. what hurt me, i just cry to let the anger out. Back then, i always offense for what others say about even they take as a jokes. But, if i keep being like that, i pretty sure, I NOT WHO I AM RIGHT NOW. As long as i true to myself, i already won. i think its enough. Actually nobody really cares, it just you, yourself. Through 2016, the person who I thought will never let me down is the reason  i easily give up. The person that I make most important, special in life just throw me away like a rubbish. I think that person need to consider that he should not underestimated my ability to throw away him too. I do not know whats hurt the most, being hurt or being broken apart. I really sure once I really-seriously to move on, i will never look back. Well, sometimes, people only appreciate once it gone, regret when realizes it so priceless to have someone who knows your worst, flaws but still think you re amazing. Take your time until the time up!

It is a longgggg time i left for drawing. I hope in 2017, i will start again draw, paint and typogrphy. and books. I really love the smell of books. Perhaps in 2017, the wishes can be true and smooth like this one, 2016. Most of the things, to the people who struggle with their faith and feel lost, I pray that you find your peace and that you never have to feel lost again. I hope that God heals whatever is hurting you. Whatever is causing all those precious tears to fall from your eyes; whatever is breaking your heart, if it’s stress, anxiety, pain, illness, sadness, worry, the loss of a loved one,  anything.
I pray that God heals all that is causing your distress and that He gives you something greater in return.

P/S: The prospects I can already see for myself in 2017 are exciting me ;)

Monday, December 28, 2015



Tahun paling byk dugaan. Ya Allah. Sorang demi sorang ahli keluarga pergi. Azmin, Kak kila rinduu aminn. Hmmmm. Mase tahu dy dah takde, Allah jeh tahu cmneh teruknye akue nanges. Sedangkan tgah taip neh puns dah nangis. Semoga Amin tenang kt sane ye dik. Kak Kila sies rindu Amin. Kadang kadang kt rumah tuh, Kak Kila terlupe, mcm nakk terpanggil Amin jeh, tapi Amin takde dah kt dunia. Al Fatihah.

Kat mne puns dalam dunia neh kau pergi, Home always be the best place ever. What the most surprised in 2015, baru akue tahu akue sanggup berkorban ape saje demi family. I thought I will care more about the guy I love since form4 but its surprised myself. Tyme tuh, akue takde pk pun sbnrnye nyawa akue dihujung tanduk jehh. Trust me, family is your strengths. Akue puns sangat bersyukur dpt big family yg sangat support gegile life akue. Even sbnrnye byk dugaan yg kami kena hadap dlm tahun ni, we still united. Gituuu. Happiness is not about how many money you have, how rich you are, its enough just be grateful what you have now because some people doesnt have happy fmily. Happy me.

Palapes. Mmg betul betul have a big impact on my life. Serious weh. Akue rase sebabkan ini laa kut akue segagah gini. Kahkahkah. Come on, join palapes! Experience yg kau akan dpt, takkan dpt kt memane. Sehari kau dlm palapes, dah ajar memacam tntang survival& friendship. Just kena bertahan jeh. Hee'.
Orang kate no pain no gain. Sure, makin besar makin byk bnde yg akan menyakitkan kau. Satu jeh nak ckp, hadap saje. Hahahahaha. Lpas tuh gelaklaa.

Trust is important. Once you lost my trust, you will never get back. Akue harap akue takkterlalu percaya dah kt orang. Basically, I believe generally people are born to be kind. Ok, dunia kan. Takde org baek jeh. After this, I will treat people just they way she/he treat me. Well. Give-take. Sbab manusia skrg semakin kejam, kau takboleh lembut. Tapi just be kind je ok. 

Whenever happy or terrible things happen, its blessing from Allah. Keep hope in Him. Never stop pray, He listen. Never ever blame on Him when your wishes not be what you want. He knows better and only.-Dr Mahmudul Alam(2015). 

        Sometimes, making others happy can heal my pains. But, dont ever break someone's happiness just to fix yourself. Unless, you want to felt how to felt broken too . Hehe. Dont make fun of others life,we know nothing what they fighting for. Just be kind. Stay humble to the earth. I learned a lot. More than what I said in this post. What I hope in 2016. I still have my family besides. I have friends that stick by me. Im know, it gonna be tough than this year, so, I hope Im still strong and more stronger to face it. I hope I doesn't know what is giving up but just keep going. I hope whenever or whatever stuck me, I dont hold my tear back but let it down on my face. Let it go and start all over again. I hope what I dream, what I plan to do in 2016 will be come true. Most of the memories in 2015 will stay memories but leaved a big impact on me. 2015 taught to be better me. Thanks who still stay with me. I'm really appreciate.


Thursday, December 18, 2014


Describe your life in 2014?

Kalau ade soklan fnal nanty cm gini, komfem berhelai helai akue tulis smpay penat examiner nak semak.Akue punyer semangat nak described ape yang jadik dlm 2014 tuhh mesty essaynye superb extraordinary smpay takktahu mana arah vocab,grammar akue pergi.Hahaha. Pengsan agaknye examiner bace esssay tuh ha atau paling tidak die gelak guling guling.Ntahh pape ler student nehh merapuh.

Dalam pale hotak akue duk berlegar muka muka sesape yang kasik kesan yg mendalam sepanjang  tahun nehh. Pengalaman pengalaman dalam menjengah umur yg pangkal nombornyee ialah 2. turning 20years k next year. Eh, ketuk sikit kepale dengan m16, kau dah besar, tolong sedar. And, time goes very fast, sampay kadang-kadang kita tak smpat nakk appreciate moment moment indah dan luka. Moment yg paling akue takkan lupe bile sbut jeh 2014 ialah moment moment yang akhir akhir nak abis zaman matrikulasi. Especially roomates, semua yang kita buat mesti berenam,ENAM. Akue rindu sikap caring dorang, saling support antara satu sama lain. Sampai sekarang akue still dapat rasakann aura adik beradik yang kita built tuhh maseh exist dalam life akue even masing masing sekarang dgn life yg berbeza.Akue maseh terbayang last day kita sebilik . sedeyy sungguh. Hope boleh gathering dan bergelak ketawa bersameeee lagik . Rasenye tahun depan kann,wish it will be true.Really miss my girls. 2014 juga tahun yang akue mula merasa macam mane penat lelahnye bekerja. siesly,nak belaja pandai pandai, taknak jadi kuli.Hahaha.Tapi sbabkan kije bwah org laa buatkan akue sedar yg hidup nehh jgn terlalu pegang pada sistem.kadang kadang sistem yg sesak kann benda yg simple, dari senang nakk settle jadi haru kadang kadang ley jadi collapse semua bende terus. Kena respect yg lebih tua even kite punyer pangkat lebih tinggi, gaji kita lebih banyak angka dari dy.Akue neh laa sensitif bab bab orang yang susah diperlekehkan, dorang pun ade perasaan ok! Tak kysah laa pangkat kau tinggi, degree first class ker tapi bila kau takde manner, jgn tanye kenape 1day semua workers kau takk dgar ckp lgi.Terlalu kejar dunia puns takley jugak,payahh hidup nanty. Itu sebab kenape akue lebih suka observe dari byk cakap bile dalam social life. Saje nakk tgok sape yg mendepang dada dimuka bumi Allah nehh. Lepas observe, buat experiment. Hypothesis accepted#

Next, moment paling deep 2014 ialah meet kakak kakak Imr (bukan nama seebenar).Siesly, akue takkpnah expect akan kenal in real life apetah lgik boleh rapat.Rapat kejap jeh,lpas tuhh lost contact. Bunyi mcm sedih kan,ya sedih.sungguh. Macam mane ekh nak describe perasaan tuh? Ha, imagine kau nakk hp Sony Xperia je then suddenly kau dapat Iphone6. Iphone 6 tuhh pulak dah siap sume application yg kau nak, sume complete. Kau rase heaven gle sebab nak Sony dpat Iphone. Pastuhh, heaven yg kau rasa tuhh sekejap jehh sebab taksmpay berbulan, Iphone hilang, takdapat kesan. takktahu macam mane boleh tetibe takde. Rase mcm kau bermimpi jeh selama neh dpt guna Iphone. Ya, mimpi kut semua tuhh. Sampai sekarang akue takley nak hadam sebab dalam sekelip mata,semuanya.GONE. -Open house. sebelah kiri kanan akak dy.akue tengah tengah. how close I am with his sisters. Really wonderful feeling at that moment. Sape boleh jangke kann. .hahaha. Next, dan banyak lagik laa, mcm mana akue boleh salah isi UPU yg membawa akue ke kos Actuary Sc nehh, macam mane boleh involve palapes yg tough gitu, make friends. Tahun yang banyak kali rasaa homesick.Hahaha. boleh dikatakan tahun yang paling hectic. dan banyaklah bende yang takkkterluah. kalau terluah, mahu takckup sejam menaip. hahaha

Dan sesungguh, 2015 akan menjadi lebih mencabar dan perlukan ketabahan yang sangat tinggi. Semoga semakin kuat sama seperti tahun tahun yang sebelumnya. Diharapkan.

FINAL next week.
MELAKA next next week.
Miss them like crazy.